weakness
by king.needlemouse
Summary: Sometimes Sonic had nightmares. Sometimes they felt too real. [oneshot]


**i always thought the events of sa2 must've left an impact on sonic.**

 **minor blood warning.**

* * *

As he sat in the darkness of the room, curled under his heavy blankets and choking on the stale air, he whimpered at the pattering raindrops that cracked against the window panes. Toxic memories clouded his mind, and his nightmare flickered through his thoughts vehemently and bitingly. The raindrops grew louder, a buzz encompassed his hearing, piercing his eardrums and sending him into a writhing headache as he buried his face into the pillow.

He was alone. Agonizingly, terribly alone.

 **-:~:-**

 _ **i told you once i swear to god i dont need you**_

 **-:~:-**

 _He emerged from the wreckage, his ebony fur painted in fiery red streaks and battle scars that echoed age and exhaustion._

 _The Biolizard collapsed behind him with a rumbling moan, and for a moment Sonic felt pity on the thing. They all had stormed the ARK, after all, and slain it mercilessly to foil its master's plans._

 _But the nasty gash running along Shadow's side was a rude awakening to the hero's musings, and he felt his own sympathy for the beast dissipating. The darker hedgehog stumbled forward to the bottom of the fake-temple's staircase, muscles twitching and trembling, breath shallow, with a crazed smirk quirking at his lips. He casted a dazed look up at Sonic, one that made him look so vulnerable and dreamy and tired, it made the blue blur's chest swell with a feeling that made him feel squirmy and warm._

 _Sonic broke their eye contact upon the realization that Shadow was on the brink of collapsing, and his legs shifted to autopilot promptly. The speedster found himself jogging down the steps, completely abandoning the vaguely questioning look Knuckles casted his way over by the emeralds._

 _The pair of hedgehogs fell into each other, both coats of fur sticky with sweat as they mingled together, Shadow releasing most of his strength to let Sonic hold him. For a while they stood there, in one another's arms, Shadow's hot breathes ghosting across the blue blur's neck._

 _This whole time, ever since they met, ever since Sonic had been framed as a thief, they had hated each other. Loathed each other. The cobalt teenager couldn't bear to look at his counterpart without feeling something gross and angry churn in his stomach. And soon it developed into something lighter, something gentler. Sonic had found he could no longer deny the flutter in his chest when he gazed into those piercing ruby eyes, the cheerful grin that crept onto his face as they exchanged jibes and quips that were less of malice, and more of a childish playfulness._

 _But now, brought together with the realization that they had to save the world, holding each other and just_ being _had never felt so right._

 _"Good job, Shads," Sonic murmured in the other's ear, his grip tight to keep him from collapsing completely, "You did good."_

 **-:~:-**

 _ **and i wrote that on my heart to see the words bleed through**_

 **-:~:-**

He gasped for breath, blue fur drenched in sweat and cheeks sunken with long developed circles. The rain screamed against the windows, drowning out his sobs and mimicking the tears that rushed freely from his eyes. He squeezed the sheets beneath him, so intensely his knuckles turned white; clinging to them like if he let go, he'd lose him all over again.

He didn't save him. He couldn't save him.

 **-:~:-**

 _ **let the fire fall as you put down your cigarette**_

 **-:~:-**

 _Shadow coughed, his slender form shaking in the azure boy's arms. Sonic felt something soft and nurturing blossom in his chest as the Ultimate Lifeform clung harder to him._

 _"Did I…?" the anti-hero whispered out, feeling his hot blood stream down the side of his leg at a sickening pace._

 _Sonic carded his fingers through haggard, ruffled black fur. "You beat it. You did great."_

 _And then the speedy hedgehog felt himself pull away from the embrace, subconsciously. Giddy, childish feelings danced across his skin in ecstasy as he gazed back at Shadow, unable to stop himself when he leaned in, and their lips met._

 _It was nervous, and the elder's lips were chapped and bloody, but they allowed themselves to tentatively pressed against each other. And it felt so good, so right, as it grew a bit warmer between them, the taste of Shadow almost electric. No tongue ever invaded the other. It stayed innocent, and comforting; they just needed to feel some calm. Something to ground themselves after the turbulent waters of the events of these past few days._

 _Sonic withdrew, cheeks rosy and breathing heavy and thick. Shadow looked a bit dazzled, eyes wide and longing. Both of them trembled with an anxious lust, but neither could find the words to ask for more._

 _"Um," stammered the cerulean hedgehog, "Sorry, I just, um. Thanks. I'm glad you, uh, defeated the lizard-thing."_

 _Shadow chuckled lightly, tipping forward to press his forehead against the other and stare deeply into those stunning emerald eyes. "I never would have thought, that when the doctor salvaged me from G.U.N., I'd be kissing a dork like you in outer space, just two days later, bleeding to death. And I certainly wouldn't have thought I'd actually feel happy."_

 _A knot of viscous embarrassment and bashfulness caught in Sonic's throat, and he found himself helpless to do anything but gawk back at his rival with an unbearable heat rising in his face._

 _Before any more words could be exchanged, a third party, a voice gruff and snappy, called from the top of the fake-shrine._

 _"Hey, lovebirds! Get the hell up here!"_

 _Sonic blinked rapidly, until his glossy eyes snapped back into full vigilance, and he shifted to hold the injured hedgehog up with an arm hooked around him._

" _Uh, yeah, one sec!" he hollered back, peering up to see an agitated echidna glaring down at them._

 _The pair hobbled up the steps in silence, a silence that felt a little awkward but mostly okay; Shadow leaned into the other, squeezing his side both out of a given need to be carried, and a subtle need to just_ be _with him. Sonic didn't protest—he held onto the ebony teenager just as tightly._

 _As they reached Knuckles at the top, who studied the emeralds around him anxiously, their pace slowed a bit and Sonic lost a bit of his grip on the other hedgehog, whose consciousness was rapidly ebbing away._

 _The guardian noticed the state of the Ultimate Lifeform immediately, rushing over to help keep him from falling to the ground._

" _Oh, Chaos," Knuckles cursed, "Is he gonna be okay?"_

 _Sonic frowned, not tearing his gaze off of the woozy hedgehog. "I… I don't know. He's bleeding pretty bad."_

" _The emeralds…" Shadow mumbled under his breath, suddenly, "… They can…"_

 _All three teenagers jumped at the sudden roar of fury behind them all, one that shook them to their core with its raw strength and audacity. They all swiveled around to see the Biolizard struggling to rise up again, despite its wounds, snarling in their direction. They didn't realize it was drawing power from the Chaos Emeralds until it was too late._

 _The gashes and bruises running along its scales were washed away as an alien, white energy swirled around its bulky form, before swallowing it completely in a blinding flash. The boys shut their eyes at the scene, unable to stare at the intense light._

 _It faded just as quickly as it appeared, and when they reopened their eyes, they found the Biolizard was completely gone too._

 _A quiet passed between them, each at a loss for words, before the room abruptly gave way to an intense red light and alarms that screeched at them over the speakers. Shadow's wrist buzzed as Eggman called them over the communicator._

" _The prototype is still alive!" the scientist hissed over the speaker, "And now it's controlling the ARK as it's falling to earth! It's become one with the space colony, and is determined to keep it on its collision course!"_

 _Sonic's eyes bulged, heart leaping from his chest. "Crap."_

 _With a newborn sense of motivation, Knuckles threw his hands up exasperatedly and paced around quickly. "We need to do something!"_

" _The emeralds," Shadow repeated, with a little more strength this time._

 _And suddenly the blue blur caught on, lugging himself and the Ultimate Lifeform towards the ring of emeralds before them. He smirked at his counterpart determinedly, before turning to exchange a look of understanding with the frantic echidna._

" _You're wounds should be okay when we transform," Sonic explained, already beginning to stir his own dormant Chaos energy as the gems starting to levitate into the air, shining brighter than ever and radiating a relentless vigor that felt both ancient and familiar to the cobalt speedster._

" _Ever gone Super before, Shadow?"_

 **-:~:-**

 _ **wear excuses on my sleeve, hide my heart for you to keep**_

 **-:~:-**

The tears felt cold on his face now, and though he still trembled, a new sense of vacancy began to consume the passionate sorrow once flooding his mind. How could he have lost so hard? Why couldn't it have been him? Why didn't he try harder?

Too slow. Too slow. Too slow.

 **-:~:-**

 _ **ive been falling for you slow, you know**_

 **-:~:-**

 _They surged forward in a magnificent blur of golden valor, the iridescent crackles of Chaos energy warping around their bodies and linking them together, closer than they've ever felt to anyone. They were one; they had a mission; they wouldn't stop until they were victorious._

 _They had to save the world._

" _Sonic!" the silver, glowing hedgehog shouted over the roar of their sheer power enveloping them, as they rushed towards the disgusting hybrid of a beast and machine, "We need to use Chaos Control!"_

 _A stiff nod from the golden hero was all that was needed. Both pairs of fiery red eyes stayed trained on their target, determination coursing through their blood like the raw Chaos energy that fueled their charge._

 _As they glided closer to the Biolizard, they soon grew so close that their arms brushed against each other. Shadow didn't stop the other's hand from weaving into his own; just squeezed it reassuringly. They would do this together. Sonic needed him to do this._

 _The energy intensified all around them, grew brighter, as they chanted the words in perfect unison. A pure, white, hot sensation swallowed them whole. They became blind from all but a blank, empty plane, and deaf from all but silence. They couldn't feel their own bodies anymore. They weren't anything but the embodiment of power._

 _Of chaos._

 _Shadow felt his fur standing on end, then, and felt a tense hand squeezing his own with all its might. He turned to look back at the ethereal sight to his left, a golden angel with messy quills, wide eyes, and a pure heart. Sonic's face was contorted in utter agony as electricity surged through him. He wasn't truly familiar with Chaos Control yet. The merging of the soul with raw energy, so suddenly and so intensely, was too much for the hero to handle. This would kill him._

 _Something cold and numb washed over Shadow, as he reached an epiphany. He slid his hand from the other's, who now watched him with betrayal and desperation as he struggled to grab his hand again. Shadow refused to look at him, now. It hurt too much._

 _Sonic needed him to do this. The world needed him to do this. The world needed Sonic._

" _I think," the silver and red hedgehog spoke, his deep voice cutting through the deafening silence almost gratingly, "I think we could have been good friends, in another life."_

 _The golden teenager struggled to grit out any words against the pressure of the Chaos energy. He could, unnervingly, feel himself being pushed out of the Chaos Control. Shadow was stopping him. Shadow was trying to save him._

" _Sh-Shads… What are you…?"_

 _Suddenly the Ultimate Lifeform turned to face him, a sole tear dragging down his face and a melancholy smile tracing his muzzle._

" _Thank you."_

 _And then he was alone._

 _The whiteness around them blinded him again, before fading altogether. He drifted there for a long time, fur back to its normal cerulean shade, surrounded by the void of space and the distant stars that twinkled all around him. The Biolizard was gone, the ARK wasn't falling._

 _And Shadow was gone._

 _For the first time, all Sonic felt was the icy, empty feeling of loss, as he gazed at a pair of inhibitor rings drifting in zero-gravity before him, abandoned by their rightful owner._

 **-:~:-**

 _ **youre my weakness**_

 **-:~:-**

Dim, yellow light flooded the room as the door cracked open, casting radiance upon the quivering hedgehog in bed. A figure entered, gently and swiftly, sliding into the bed and turning on their side to stare at the back of Sonic's head.

As he placed a ginger head on the sobbing teenager's shoulder, the hero jolted a little, not expecting the sudden contact. Sonic turned to look at the other, eyes bloodshot and lip quivering uncontrollably.

Shadow smiled calmly at him, before pulling him in close. Sonic nuzzled deeply into his pallor chest fur, inhaling the Ultimate Lifeform's scent and allowing ebony, warm arms to snake around him and hug him tightly.

"Sorry, I had to work late," said the darker hedgehog, stroking Sonic's quills, "Another nightmare?"

The azure boy didn't speak, just whimpered and nodded sullenly into the other's chest.

Shadow sighed deeply, pressing his face against the top of the younger hedgehog's, whispering reassurances that tingled in Sonic's ears.

"It's okay. I'm not dead. You found me. I'm okay."

Sonic never relinquished his grip on his boyfriend, just clung on tighter. He refused to speak, in fear he'd start crying again.

" _We're_ okay. I promise."

* * *

 **ayy my first upload on this site. please r &r, i'm always wanting to improve my writing!**

 **lyrics from Weakness, by Jeremy Zucker.**


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